Category つぶやき (Tweets)
さっき、食事中、Leoにぶたれた。その後うつむき涙するLeoを見て、こらえる事もできず、ママ、Senaのいる前で泣き崩れてしまった。
At the dinner table, Leo hit me in the face and soon looked down and cried. I could not hold it but just broke down in front of my wife and Sena.
上手に食べれないから、食べ物がいたるところに。だから隣でアシストするのがパパの役目。
Foods scattered all over the table since he has hard time eating. So sitting next to him and help him eat well is my duty.
最近は横着というか、その方が楽だからだろうが、テーブルに落ちたのを口で直接食べようとしたり、口に運ぶ時も、スプーンを全く見ないで口に運ぶから当然こぼす。
It is not he is lazy recently but easier to put his mouth directly to the food. When he put the spoon in the mouth, he is not paying attention to it, so everything falls off.
だから、ちゃんと見てたべなさいと注意したら、普段見せないほど正確に右手でぶってきた。はっきりこう言っていた。
So I said, kinda strongly, "focus on eating more, ok!". Then he hit me with his right hand with a lot of effort stabilizing his body. He was saying in his heart:
僕だってちゃんと食べたくて頑張ってるけど、どうしてもできないんだよ！なのに、なんだよ！もういやだ～！しくしく、シクシク…
I wish I could eat properly and I am trying, but I cannot with my body. Why are you saying that knowing that I cannot move my body parts as I want to. It sucks! I just wanna cry...
今後も毎日がリハビリ。こういう場面はもっともっと増えてくる。親として、心を鬼にして教えていかなきゃいけないんだろうけど…
We will have more cases like this as more rehabilitation is required for him. I know I need to be tough for him as a daddy, but...
今日もできなかった。
I could not do it today...
というか、それが出来る日は来るのだろうか？
Or can I do it someday?
あのLeoの悔し涙を見て…
after looking at his tears...
一番毎日頑張ってるLeoの悔し涙を見て…
the tears of this little guy who tries everything and never gives up...
そんな事がパパに出来る日が…
Can I really do that?
正直自信がない…
You know, I am just not sure...
At the dinner table, Leo hit me in the face and soon looked down and cried. I could not hold it but just broke down in front of my wife and Sena.
上手に食べれないから、食べ物がいたるところに。だから隣でアシストするのがパパの役目。
Foods scattered all over the table since he has hard time eating. So sitting next to him and help him eat well is my duty.
最近は横着というか、その方が楽だからだろうが、テーブルに落ちたのを口で直接食べようとしたり、口に運ぶ時も、スプーンを全く見ないで口に運ぶから当然こぼす。
It is not he is lazy recently but easier to put his mouth directly to the food. When he put the spoon in the mouth, he is not paying attention to it, so everything falls off.
だから、ちゃんと見てたべなさいと注意したら、普段見せないほど正確に右手でぶってきた。はっきりこう言っていた。
So I said, kinda strongly, "focus on eating more, ok!". Then he hit me with his right hand with a lot of effort stabilizing his body. He was saying in his heart:
僕だってちゃんと食べたくて頑張ってるけど、どうしてもできないんだよ！なのに、なんだよ！もういやだ～！しくしく、シクシク…
I wish I could eat properly and I am trying, but I cannot with my body. Why are you saying that knowing that I cannot move my body parts as I want to. It sucks! I just wanna cry...
今後も毎日がリハビリ。こういう場面はもっともっと増えてくる。親として、心を鬼にして教えていかなきゃいけないんだろうけど…
We will have more cases like this as more rehabilitation is required for him. I know I need to be tough for him as a daddy, but...
今日もできなかった。
I could not do it today...
というか、それが出来る日は来るのだろうか？
Or can I do it someday?
あのLeoの悔し涙を見て…
after looking at his tears...
一番毎日頑張ってるLeoの悔し涙を見て…
the tears of this little guy who tries everything and never gives up...
そんな事がパパに出来る日が…
Can I really do that?
正直自信がない…
You know, I am just not sure...
Category 病院 (Hospital)
今日は神経科の定期検診。道中の車の中では、音楽に合わせて、Leoがマイクを持って熱唱！ちなみに彼のお気に入りはミュージックステーションで見たAKBとモー娘です。既にオタク？(^^)
We went to see Leo's neurologist today as a regular 4 months follow-up. Leo was singing a song on the radio on the way. He likes music especially the Japanese girls groups on TV. Already OTAKU?
先生と話すのは4ヶ月ぶり。色々話した。やっぱり左足がドンドンつっぱってきた。右足も何だか最近固い。その他近況報告して、とりあえず今のLeucovorinを一日5mgの継続と、一応ドーパミンの薬の処方箋をもらってきた。もしかしたら少し改善するかもという淡い期待を込めて。
We talked a lot about his symptoms. His left leg is getting tighter and the right one is also a little bit too. We decided to continue the current Leucovorin medication 5mg/day and got a prescription for L-dopa, the precursor of dopamine, hoping it helps ease his symptoms.
あと、前にやったミトコンドリア病のDNA検査はミトコンドリア内のDNA検査で陰性だったけど、やはり進行性なので、今度は細胞核のDNA検査(ポリメラーゼ•ガンマ(POLG))をしてみることに。
And he ordered another DNT sequencing test called Polymerase gamma (POLD) and see if any mutations not in the mitochondria but in the actual nucleus. The previous DNT test was that of the former.
しかしいつものように、そこはアメリカ。保険会社から認証されるまで数週間。検査して結果は数ヶ月後。医療技術は世界一かも知れないけど、保険のシステムは先進国最低かな。よく言われるように。
But this is U.S. The approval from the insurance company takes a few weeks and another few months of waiting for the results. As is often said, medical skills and equipment in the States is probably No. 1 in the world, but the health insurance system seems the worst in the industrialized countries.
この間、Leoが日本で一週間の検査入院中には12個のDNA検査を一度にして、結果は2週間後にサクリと。
When Leo stayed at a hospital in Japan, he took 12 DNT sequencing tests all at once with a tiny cost and waited for a few weeks for the results.
その話をしたら、先生は「我々医者もそうしたいけど、この国の医療は保険会社に牛耳られてるから、歯がゆい」とのこと。
When I talked about it, the doctor said "of course, doctors here want to do the same thing but the system is governed by the insurance companies, so I am frustrated ...".
アメリカではまさに「健康」まで「買う」もの。正直、健康ではないひとにはタフな社会です。TPPで日本の宝である皆保険制度が守られることを願うばかりです。
In the States, health is also one of the many things you "buy" and it is a tough society if you are not healthy. I am hoping that Japan protects the national health insurance system the treasure of the country even after the start of TPP.
We went to see Leo's neurologist today as a regular 4 months follow-up. Leo was singing a song on the radio on the way. He likes music especially the Japanese girls groups on TV. Already OTAKU?
先生と話すのは4ヶ月ぶり。色々話した。やっぱり左足がドンドンつっぱってきた。右足も何だか最近固い。その他近況報告して、とりあえず今のLeucovorinを一日5mgの継続と、一応ドーパミンの薬の処方箋をもらってきた。もしかしたら少し改善するかもという淡い期待を込めて。
We talked a lot about his symptoms. His left leg is getting tighter and the right one is also a little bit too. We decided to continue the current Leucovorin medication 5mg/day and got a prescription for L-dopa, the precursor of dopamine, hoping it helps ease his symptoms.
あと、前にやったミトコンドリア病のDNA検査はミトコンドリア内のDNA検査で陰性だったけど、やはり進行性なので、今度は細胞核のDNA検査(ポリメラーゼ•ガンマ(POLG))をしてみることに。
And he ordered another DNT sequencing test called Polymerase gamma (POLD) and see if any mutations not in the mitochondria but in the actual nucleus. The previous DNT test was that of the former.
しかしいつものように、そこはアメリカ。保険会社から認証されるまで数週間。検査して結果は数ヶ月後。医療技術は世界一かも知れないけど、保険のシステムは先進国最低かな。よく言われるように。
But this is U.S. The approval from the insurance company takes a few weeks and another few months of waiting for the results. As is often said, medical skills and equipment in the States is probably No. 1 in the world, but the health insurance system seems the worst in the industrialized countries.
この間、Leoが日本で一週間の検査入院中には12個のDNA検査を一度にして、結果は2週間後にサクリと。
When Leo stayed at a hospital in Japan, he took 12 DNT sequencing tests all at once with a tiny cost and waited for a few weeks for the results.
その話をしたら、先生は「我々医者もそうしたいけど、この国の医療は保険会社に牛耳られてるから、歯がゆい」とのこと。
When I talked about it, the doctor said "of course, doctors here want to do the same thing but the system is governed by the insurance companies, so I am frustrated ...".
アメリカではまさに「健康」まで「買う」もの。正直、健康ではないひとにはタフな社会です。TPPで日本の宝である皆保険制度が守られることを願うばかりです。
In the States, health is also one of the many things you "buy" and it is a tough society if you are not healthy. I am hoping that Japan protects the national health insurance system the treasure of the country even after the start of TPP.
Category Encinitas Life
今週末は暑いのでビーチへ！どれくらいで着くのか、家からビデオを撮ってみた。道中は子供達大喜び(^-^)/
Hot weekend means a beach day! Just for fun, we shot a video to the beach nearby from our home. You see how excited the kids are.
といっても、他にやることがあるので、さくりと数時間のステイ(T . T)。子供達を遊ばせるためのみ。
Well, there are many other things to do on weekends, so we just stayed for a few hours just for having kids play.
まあ、これもLeoのため。しっかり、砂浜の上で結構歩いたし、波と追いかけっこもしたね。いいトレーニングになりました。もちろん、ずっと中腰で支えているパパにも^_^
It is all for Leo. Walking on the sand is a good exercise as well as chasing waves back and forth. It is also good for me too since I need to hold him stand up all the time.
砂をすくってバケツに入れる。2年前は簡単に出来たことが、今やトレーニングの一環。複雑な心境だけど、鍛えないとどんどん悪くなっていくだけ。かばろうね。Leo!
Putting the sand in the bucket. It was just easy for him two years ago but now it is part of his daily training. I feel sad sometimes but he gets looser and looser without the exercise, so let's work on it together, Leo!
Senaはひたすらお砂遊びと砂に潜る小さいエビ観察。
Sena, on the other hand, was just having fun with the sand and the little insects in the water.
ちなみに波は胸肩のパーフェクトシェイプ。ひたすら上手い人達を終始観察するしかないパパでした(T . T)。とほほ…です。ほんと…
The waves... They looked perfect today and very good surfers were performing excellent there. I was just watching them surf... wanna surf more...
Hot weekend means a beach day! Just for fun, we shot a video to the beach nearby from our home. You see how excited the kids are.
といっても、他にやることがあるので、さくりと数時間のステイ(T . T)。子供達を遊ばせるためのみ。
Well, there are many other things to do on weekends, so we just stayed for a few hours just for having kids play.
まあ、これもLeoのため。しっかり、砂浜の上で結構歩いたし、波と追いかけっこもしたね。いいトレーニングになりました。もちろん、ずっと中腰で支えているパパにも^_^
It is all for Leo. Walking on the sand is a good exercise as well as chasing waves back and forth. It is also good for me too since I need to hold him stand up all the time.
砂をすくってバケツに入れる。2年前は簡単に出来たことが、今やトレーニングの一環。複雑な心境だけど、鍛えないとどんどん悪くなっていくだけ。かばろうね。Leo!
Putting the sand in the bucket. It was just easy for him two years ago but now it is part of his daily training. I feel sad sometimes but he gets looser and looser without the exercise, so let's work on it together, Leo!
Senaはひたすらお砂遊びと砂に潜る小さいエビ観察。
Sena, on the other hand, was just having fun with the sand and the little insects in the water.
ちなみに波は胸肩のパーフェクトシェイプ。ひたすら上手い人達を終始観察するしかないパパでした(T . T)。とほほ…です。ほんと…
The waves... They looked perfect today and very good surfers were performing excellent there. I was just watching them surf... wanna surf more...
Category つぶやき (Tweets)
Leoの症状の件で気持ちが沈んでるときに、少しは癒してくれるのがベランダにつるしてあるお花。
Flowers at the patios often make us feel better even though we are very worried about Leo's symptoms.
桜はないけど、カリフォルニアらしいビビッドなカラーがきれいです。
Well, we don't have cherry blossom trees like in Japan, but the flowers look beautiful with their vivid colors.
今日は真夏日。
It is like a summer day today.
ロイも日向ぼっこ。癒されます。
Roy enjoyed the sun. Very relaxing for us too.
Flowers at the patios often make us feel better even though we are very worried about Leo's symptoms.
桜はないけど、カリフォルニアらしいビビッドなカラーがきれいです。
Well, we don't have cherry blossom trees like in Japan, but the flowers look beautiful with their vivid colors.
今日は真夏日。
It is like a summer day today.
ロイも日向ぼっこ。癒されます。
Roy enjoyed the sun. Very relaxing for us too.
Category CFDとは (About CFD)
先週末あたりから、Leoの右足の出が悪くなってきた。硬くて突っ張ってる左足に加えて右足まで…
Since last weekend, Leo's right leg is not moving as he wants. The left one is spastic but now the right leg is becoming like that too...
もう心配で心配で、どうしたらよいものだろう…
I don't know what to do... Just very worried about it...
お薬も5mgに戻したけど、なんだか効いてないような…。
We changed the medicine back to 5 mg since it is not working well...
明らかに悪くなっている。
His symptoms overall is getting worse...
来週は神経科の先生との定期検診。今後のことをじっくり話してみます。
We are seeing the neurologist next week for his 4 months follow up. We are gonna talk about a lot with him.
は～。ママもパパもどよ～んって感じ。
sigh... My wife and I are feeling not good...
心配です。ホント…
so worried ...
Since last weekend, Leo's right leg is not moving as he wants. The left one is spastic but now the right leg is becoming like that too...
もう心配で心配で、どうしたらよいものだろう…
I don't know what to do... Just very worried about it...
お薬も5mgに戻したけど、なんだか効いてないような…。
We changed the medicine back to 5 mg since it is not working well...
明らかに悪くなっている。
His symptoms overall is getting worse...
来週は神経科の先生との定期検診。今後のことをじっくり話してみます。
We are seeing the neurologist next week for his 4 months follow up. We are gonna talk about a lot with him.
は～。ママもパパもどよ～んって感じ。
sigh... My wife and I are feeling not good...
心配です。ホント…
so worried ...
Category 病院 (Hospital)
半年前の話だが、Leoとママは、一週間の検査入院(11/26-11/30)と検査結果待ちのため、日本に1ヶ月滞在した。Senaとパパはサンディエゴでお留守番。そのときに撮ったSenaから検査入院でがんばってるお兄ちゃんへのビデオレター。事前打ち合わせもないのに、なんだかうまく撮れました。
About 6 months ago, Leo and my wife went back to Japan and stayed there for a month. It was for his one week stay at the hospital for various tests. Sena and I were just waiting in SD. So we shot a video to cheer him up! It went amazingly well without any planning beforehand.
Here it is (Sorry, all in Japanese, but saying something like "hang in there! we will see you soon and let's celebrate your return with delicious food!").
これを見たLeoは何度も何度も再生をリクエスト。終わってからは涙目になっていたとママが写メで報告。
それを聞いてパパは号泣（また？^^)。
My wife sent back a picture after he watched it over and over. She said his eyes were in tears... My eyes were in tears when I heard it too (again?) :-)
Leoも痛い注射や点滴、MRIや脳検査のまずい麻酔薬なども、よく耐えたとのこと。
Leo endured all of the painful pokes, shots, IVs, MRI, horrible taste narcotics,etc.
Senaのこのビデオレターのおかげかな？
I bet this video helped him go through that.
これからも一緒にお兄ちゃんを支えていこうね！
So Sena. Let's keep supporting your bother together like this, OK?
About 6 months ago, Leo and my wife went back to Japan and stayed there for a month. It was for his one week stay at the hospital for various tests. Sena and I were just waiting in SD. So we shot a video to cheer him up! It went amazingly well without any planning beforehand.
Here it is (Sorry, all in Japanese, but saying something like "hang in there! we will see you soon and let's celebrate your return with delicious food!").
これを見たLeoは何度も何度も再生をリクエスト。終わってからは涙目になっていたとママが写メで報告。
それを聞いてパパは号泣（また？^^)。
My wife sent back a picture after he watched it over and over. She said his eyes were in tears... My eyes were in tears when I heard it too (again?) :-)
Leoも痛い注射や点滴、MRIや脳検査のまずい麻酔薬なども、よく耐えたとのこと。
Leo endured all of the painful pokes, shots, IVs, MRI, horrible taste narcotics,etc.
Senaのこのビデオレターのおかげかな？
I bet this video helped him go through that.
これからも一緒にお兄ちゃんを支えていこうね！
So Sena. Let's keep supporting your bother together like this, OK?
Category 病院 (Hospital)
Leoの検査結果のまとめをしてみました。英語と日本語の転換は下のタブで見れます。
I summarized Leo's test results. You can switch to English with the tab at the end of the table.
I summarized Leo's test results. You can switch to English with the tab at the end of the table.
Category Encinitas Life
あいにくの空模様の日曜日。完全に嵐。海が近いから風が冷たい…
Stormy Sunday. Cold wind from the ocean. Unusual SD weather...
というわけで今日はずっとIndoorにすることに決定。しかし、IndoorといってもLeoには運動が必要。運動しないとどんどん力が入らなくなる。
So we decided to stay indoor today. But Leo needs to exercise, otherwise his muscles get weaker and weaker.
さっそく30分の立ち姿勢トレーニング with 戦隊モノ。とにかく最近大好き。男の子です。ホント。
So we started off with the standing position for 30 min with Power Rangers on TV. He just loves it. He is a guy, definitely.
とにかく声を張り上げ（インナーマッスルを鍛えるのに◎）、テレビに映る敵と戦う（体幹、上半身、下半身の運動に◎）
。実際に背中を結構まっすぐにしてるから、PTの先生にもなるべくそういう状況を作って鍛えるようにとのこと。この間は手が離れるから親にも◎
He shouts a lot, which is a good training for inner muscles. He fights hard against the bad guys, which is a good training for all parts of the body. In fact, he keeps his spine straight the whole time, which follows the advice from his PT teachers. It is also good for us parents since we can do something else.
最近付け始めたブレースのおかげか、最近は、前はできなかったあぐらが少しできるようになった。もちろん、両手でバランスをとってだけど。でも大きな前進。グッドジョブ！Leo!
He can recently sit with his legs crossed (although with arm support), which he could not do before. Maybe it is because of the braces he started wearing lately. It is a good improvement and I am proud of you, Leo!
その後は映画でも行くかということで、子供向け3Dのザ・クルーズ(The Croods)に。せっかくだからIMAXで観てきました。3週前からやっているから、お客は計15人くらい。空き空きで◎。
After that, we went to a 3D movie called "The Croods" with IMAX. It's been on for 3 weeks now, so the room was almost empty, which was good for us.
でも映画は今や大人16ドル
(IMAXだけど、普通のも12～14ドルくらい？)。2000年にきたときは7ドルだったような…。こどもとお菓子入れれば普通に50ドル以上！そりゃーもうDVDの発売待ちます。映画よりもDVDのほうが売り上げがあるのも納得。
But you know what? When I came to the US in 2000, a movie cost about $7, but now it is $16! Ok, it is IMAX, but a regular movie still costs $12 to $14? It is over $50 with my family including snacks and sodas! I may just wait for the DVD release and no wonder DVD sales is more than actual movies.
初映画で心配だったSenaも暗い映画館に最初は泣きそうになったものの、必殺ポップコーンでおとなしく1時間半。キャラが出るたび、日本語で、「あっ！ネコちゃん！」とか、「象さん、おおきいねー！」とガラガラの映画館にとどろく、とどろく.
Anyway, we were a bit worried about Sena since it was her first time to watch a movie in a theater. She was about to cry when we entered the dark room. But it did not take time for us to divert her attention into the pop corn, her favorite. So she stayed OK for the 1 hour and a half movie! Good job! although she was loud shouting "Wow! Look at the cat!" or "Big elephant!" all in Japanese echoing over the entire room! Good that it was almost empty :-)
Leoは上のビデオでわかるとおり、映画、テレビは話に入りすぎるくらい入るから、予め自分にひざの上で固定。監督の意図通り3Dの映画に身も心も振り回されてた
.
As you know from the video above, Leo gets into the story too intensely, so I hold him on my lap during the entire movie. He was just enjoying the movie a lot.
でも、やっぱりLeoは全部わかってるのを再確認。
On my lap, I re-recognize that he understands everything.
2回ほどお涙頂戴のシーンがあるんだけど、そのどちらでも口をへの字にして、頬には一線の涙が…
There were two emotional scenes and he was crying a bit...
そんな息子を見て、パパは一線どころか、呼吸困難になるくらいしゃくりあげて泣いてしまった
。相変わらず涙もろいです、私。
And after looking at him crying like that, I was crying hard to the extent that I could not even breathe. I am also easily gets emotional, I know myself well... :-)
最後は子供映画の鉄板ハッピーエンディング。
Kids movies always end happily.
不安定な体を何とか自分で固定して、Leoはずっと拍手してました。それにも嗚咽。「ええかげんにせー」とママにも言われました
.
He was giving a big applaud to the ending crapping hands while trying very hard to stabilize his body. That also got me more emotional...
となりにはひたすらポップコーンをほおばるSena。
初めてにしては上出来、上出来。
Next to me was Sena, eating pop corn without knowing the emotional daddy...
最後は記念撮影。
And the picture with all characters in the movie.
また映画を観る機会がありそうです。
It was not a bad experience overall, so we will come back.
Stormy Sunday. Cold wind from the ocean. Unusual SD weather...
というわけで今日はずっとIndoorにすることに決定。しかし、IndoorといってもLeoには運動が必要。運動しないとどんどん力が入らなくなる。
So we decided to stay indoor today. But Leo needs to exercise, otherwise his muscles get weaker and weaker.
さっそく30分の立ち姿勢トレーニング with 戦隊モノ。とにかく最近大好き。男の子です。ホント。
So we started off with the standing position for 30 min with Power Rangers on TV. He just loves it. He is a guy, definitely.
とにかく声を張り上げ（インナーマッスルを鍛えるのに◎）、テレビに映る敵と戦う（体幹、上半身、下半身の運動に◎）
。実際に背中を結構まっすぐにしてるから、PTの先生にもなるべくそういう状況を作って鍛えるようにとのこと。この間は手が離れるから親にも◎He shouts a lot, which is a good training for inner muscles. He fights hard against the bad guys, which is a good training for all parts of the body. In fact, he keeps his spine straight the whole time, which follows the advice from his PT teachers. It is also good for us parents since we can do something else.
最近付け始めたブレースのおかげか、最近は、前はできなかったあぐらが少しできるようになった。もちろん、両手でバランスをとってだけど。でも大きな前進。グッドジョブ！Leo!
He can recently sit with his legs crossed (although with arm support), which he could not do before. Maybe it is because of the braces he started wearing lately. It is a good improvement and I am proud of you, Leo!
その後は映画でも行くかということで、子供向け3Dのザ・クルーズ(The Croods)に。せっかくだからIMAXで観てきました。3週前からやっているから、お客は計15人くらい。空き空きで◎。
After that, we went to a 3D movie called "The Croods" with IMAX. It's been on for 3 weeks now, so the room was almost empty, which was good for us.
でも映画は今や大人16ドル
(IMAXだけど、普通のも12～14ドルくらい？)。2000年にきたときは7ドルだったような…。こどもとお菓子入れれば普通に50ドル以上！そりゃーもうDVDの発売待ちます。映画よりもDVDのほうが売り上げがあるのも納得。But you know what? When I came to the US in 2000, a movie cost about $7, but now it is $16! Ok, it is IMAX, but a regular movie still costs $12 to $14? It is over $50 with my family including snacks and sodas! I may just wait for the DVD release and no wonder DVD sales is more than actual movies.
初映画で心配だったSenaも暗い映画館に最初は泣きそうになったものの、必殺ポップコーンでおとなしく1時間半。キャラが出るたび、日本語で、「あっ！ネコちゃん！」とか、「象さん、おおきいねー！」とガラガラの映画館にとどろく、とどろく
. Anyway, we were a bit worried about Sena since it was her first time to watch a movie in a theater. She was about to cry when we entered the dark room. But it did not take time for us to divert her attention into the pop corn, her favorite. So she stayed OK for the 1 hour and a half movie! Good job! although she was loud shouting "Wow! Look at the cat!" or "Big elephant!" all in Japanese echoing over the entire room! Good that it was almost empty :-)
Leoは上のビデオでわかるとおり、映画、テレビは話に入りすぎるくらい入るから、予め自分にひざの上で固定。監督の意図通り3Dの映画に身も心も振り回されてた
.As you know from the video above, Leo gets into the story too intensely, so I hold him on my lap during the entire movie. He was just enjoying the movie a lot.
でも、やっぱりLeoは全部わかってるのを再確認。
On my lap, I re-recognize that he understands everything.
2回ほどお涙頂戴のシーンがあるんだけど、そのどちらでも口をへの字にして、頬には一線の涙が…
There were two emotional scenes and he was crying a bit...
そんな息子を見て、パパは一線どころか、呼吸困難になるくらいしゃくりあげて泣いてしまった
。相変わらず涙もろいです、私。And after looking at him crying like that, I was crying hard to the extent that I could not even breathe. I am also easily gets emotional, I know myself well... :-)
最後は子供映画の鉄板ハッピーエンディング。
Kids movies always end happily.
不安定な体を何とか自分で固定して、Leoはずっと拍手してました。それにも嗚咽。「ええかげんにせー」とママにも言われました
.He was giving a big applaud to the ending crapping hands while trying very hard to stabilize his body. That also got me more emotional...
となりにはひたすらポップコーンをほおばるSena。
初めてにしては上出来、上出来。
Next to me was Sena, eating pop corn without knowing the emotional daddy...
最後は記念撮影。
And the picture with all characters in the movie.
また映画を観る機会がありそうです。
It was not a bad experience overall, so we will come back.
Category Encinitas Life
今週末はLeoの幼なじみのSちゃんのお宅拝見に行って来た。Ｓ家は子供が生まれる前から仲良くさせてもらってて、LeoとSちゃんが生まれたのも1ヶ月違い。だからずっと一緒に遊んでいたけど、4年前に車で約50分のところに引っ越してからは、なかなか会う機会がなく久しぶりの再開。みんな嬉しそうでいっぱい遊びました（& 呑みました )。
We went to our friends house this weekend. We've known the family for a long time even before we got kids. Leo and their daughter were burn just 1 month apart! So we used to hangout often, but they moved to a house that's 50 minutes from our place. So it's been a while since we saw each other. Everyone looked happy and kids played hard (and parents drank hard too :-)
S家はなんと家のリモデルを自分で4年掛けて完成。60年代？の家も見違えるような家に！
They finished remodeling their house over the last 4 years. It does not look like a house built in the 60's, hun?
広い庭もあって、庭なしコンドの我々からはうらやましい限り。LeoもSenaも大喜びで走り回ってました。ちなみに、この庭もすべてDIY(Do It Yourself)。それにしても4年間、お疲れ様でした。
They have a huge yard, so very envious since we live in a condo without it. Leo and Sena loved it and were running around. By the way, all of the yard work was also done by them. Impressive!
LeoもSenaも久しぶりのS家訪問。テントの中で遊んだり、
It is long time no see for kids, so they had a lot of fun like this in the tent...
あれ？お邪魔でしたか？
Oops? Are you guys in the middle of ...:-)
Sちゃん、積極的？
Hugging hard...
あら、さらにみせつけちゃって
ペットの紅ちゃん（ウサギ）にも興味深々
Curious about the hiding rabbit, Leo?
一緒に映画見て大喜び
They loved watching DVDs...as always...
ずっとこんなハイテンションではしゃぎまくり。Leoはごろごろしかできないけど…
They had too much fun like this, although Leo was just laying on the ground most of the time...
幼なじみだからずっと成長を見てきたSちゃん。
We have seen their daughter grow up since her birth.
ところどころで、Leoの成長を比べてしまう自分がいることに気づく。
そんなことをしても意味がないのに…
I know this is meaningless, but I cannot help but often compare Leo's development with other kids.
もし、この病気がなければLeoは今頃どんな感じだったんだろう？
そんなことも思ったりもする。
I wonder often what he would have been like without the disease...
そんなことをしても意味がないのに…
I know this is meaningless, I know.
おっ！いかん、いかん。
せっかく楽しい一日を書いてるのに、最後にこれは無いな。
反省…
Oh! This is not good.
I am just writing about the fun day we had, so I should have avoided a topic like that at the end of this post... Sorry...
まあ、とにかく楽しい一日でした（無理やり？）。
S家、これからもよろしくね。
Anyways, it was fun today and let's get together more, OK?
)。We went to our friends house this weekend. We've known the family for a long time even before we got kids. Leo and their daughter were burn just 1 month apart! So we used to hangout often, but they moved to a house that's 50 minutes from our place. So it's been a while since we saw each other. Everyone looked happy and kids played hard (and parents drank hard too :-)
S家はなんと家のリモデルを自分で4年掛けて完成。60年代？の家も見違えるような家に！
They finished remodeling their house over the last 4 years. It does not look like a house built in the 60's, hun?
広い庭もあって、庭なしコンドの我々からはうらやましい限り。LeoもSenaも大喜びで走り回ってました。ちなみに、この庭もすべてDIY(Do It Yourself)。それにしても4年間、お疲れ様でした。
They have a huge yard, so very envious since we live in a condo without it. Leo and Sena loved it and were running around. By the way, all of the yard work was also done by them. Impressive!
LeoもSenaも久しぶりのS家訪問。テントの中で遊んだり、
It is long time no see for kids, so they had a lot of fun like this in the tent...
あれ？お邪魔でしたか？
Oops? Are you guys in the middle of ...:-)
Sちゃん、積極的？
Hugging hard...
あら、さらにみせつけちゃって
ペットの紅ちゃん（ウサギ）にも興味深々
Curious about the hiding rabbit, Leo?
一緒に映画見て大喜び
They loved watching DVDs...as always...
ずっとこんなハイテンションではしゃぎまくり。Leoはごろごろしかできないけど…
They had too much fun like this, although Leo was just laying on the ground most of the time...
幼なじみだからずっと成長を見てきたSちゃん。
We have seen their daughter grow up since her birth.
ところどころで、Leoの成長を比べてしまう自分がいることに気づく。
そんなことをしても意味がないのに…
I know this is meaningless, but I cannot help but often compare Leo's development with other kids.
もし、この病気がなければLeoは今頃どんな感じだったんだろう？
そんなことも思ったりもする。
I wonder often what he would have been like without the disease...
そんなことをしても意味がないのに…
I know this is meaningless, I know.
おっ！いかん、いかん。
せっかく楽しい一日を書いてるのに、最後にこれは無いな。
反省…
Oh! This is not good.
I am just writing about the fun day we had, so I should have avoided a topic like that at the end of this post... Sorry...
まあ、とにかく楽しい一日でした（無理やり？
）。S家、これからもよろしくね。
Anyways, it was fun today and let's get together more, OK?
Category つぶやき (Tweets)
Leoの昔のビデオを見てると、正直、ほんと泣けてくる…
My eyes go blurry everytime I see Leo's old videos...
このときは2歳8ヶ月。たった2年前。楽しそうに歩いてたな～。
This is when he was 2 years and 8 months old. It is just less than 2 years ago. He was walking happy.
前を向こう…前を…
Hey myself! Be positive, ok? Be positive...
人気ブログランキングへ
My eyes go blurry everytime I see Leo's old videos...
このときは2歳8ヶ月。たった2年前。楽しそうに歩いてたな～。
This is when he was 2 years and 8 months old. It is just less than 2 years ago. He was walking happy.
前を向こう…前を…
Hey myself! Be positive, ok? Be positive...
人気ブログランキングへ
Category Encinitas Life
最近のママはヘルシーフードを通り越してローフード•ブーム。
My wife is going over general healthy food into "Raw Food" now.
もともとはLeoの症状緩和が期待される食事法として、グルテン(小麦、大麦)、カゼイン(牛乳) フリーのものを食べさせはじめたのがきっかけ。ここ1,2年でアメリカではそれがへルシーな食事法として一般の人にも大ブーム中。
We started gluten and casein free diet originally for Leo since there are several papers claiming that it improves the symptoms he has. But this diet got popular now among people in the States in the last few years.
ママはさらに健康を追い求め、生野菜とフルーツのジュースを毎朝皆が飲むようになった。デトックス効果があるみたい。確かに毎日身体の調子がいいような気がする。
She did stop there and further pursued healthy food. She makes fruits and vegetable juice every morning. It's supposed to detox your body and I feel better everyday, in fact.
ママはさらに満足せず、最近はローフード。加工してない生のもののみを使ったものを作るように。
She was not satisfied and went into this "Raw Food" lately. It is basically a diet only with non-processed food.
今朝は、生ピーナッツ、生クルミ、生ココナッツのムース。ケール、ほうれん草とフルーツのジュース。
This morning, she made a mousse with raw peanuts, raw walnuts, raw coconuts. And a juice with kale, spinach, and various fruits.
ハマりやすい性格のママ。
She gets into things pretty often.
おかげでみんなヘルシー。ありがとう！
Thank you always for making such a healthy food for everyone in our family!
My wife is going over general healthy food into "Raw Food" now.
もともとはLeoの症状緩和が期待される食事法として、グルテン(小麦、大麦)、カゼイン(牛乳) フリーのものを食べさせはじめたのがきっかけ。ここ1,2年でアメリカではそれがへルシーな食事法として一般の人にも大ブーム中。
We started gluten and casein free diet originally for Leo since there are several papers claiming that it improves the symptoms he has. But this diet got popular now among people in the States in the last few years.
ママはさらに健康を追い求め、生野菜とフルーツのジュースを毎朝皆が飲むようになった。デトックス効果があるみたい。確かに毎日身体の調子がいいような気がする。
She did stop there and further pursued healthy food. She makes fruits and vegetable juice every morning. It's supposed to detox your body and I feel better everyday, in fact.
ママはさらに満足せず、最近はローフード。加工してない生のもののみを使ったものを作るように。
She was not satisfied and went into this "Raw Food" lately. It is basically a diet only with non-processed food.
今朝は、生ピーナッツ、生クルミ、生ココナッツのムース。ケール、ほうれん草とフルーツのジュース。
This morning, she made a mousse with raw peanuts, raw walnuts, raw coconuts. And a juice with kale, spinach, and various fruits.
ハマりやすい性格のママ。
She gets into things pretty often.
おかげでみんなヘルシー。ありがとう！
Thank you always for making such a healthy food for everyone in our family!
Category Encinitas Life
Senaのサークルタイム！
Sena's circle time!
最近のSenaは本を読んでくれます。学校でやってるサークルタイムのマネですね。
Sena likes to read books for us, much like the circle time at her school.
Leoはいつもそれを聞いて喜んでます。
Leo is listening happily.
二人で仲良くね。いつまでも。
Together, forever...
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Sena's circle time!
最近のSenaは本を読んでくれます。学校でやってるサークルタイムのマネですね。
Sena likes to read books for us, much like the circle time at her school.
Leoはいつもそれを聞いて喜んでます。
Leo is listening happily.
二人で仲良くね。いつまでも。
Together, forever...
人気ブログランキングへ
Category つぶやき (Tweets)
英語ができるわけではないが、このブログは日本語、英語の両方でなるべく書くようにしてる。大体、日本語で最初に書いて英語に訳しているから、あまり英語の方が気持ちが伝わらない感じになるが、それはそれで大目に見てもらおう（誰に？＾＾
I know I am not that good at English but I am keeping this blog bilingual in Japanese and English as much as possible. I usually write a post in Japanese first, then translate it into English, so excuse me for the poor expressions in English.
まあ、すべてはLeoとSenaのため。
Well, it is all for Leo and Sena.
将来、Senaが英語で読むなら、自分の下手な英語を笑って欲しい。日本語で自分が一体何を書いてあるのかわかりたいなら、日本語を勉強してほしい。
I am hoping that Sena makes fun of my poor English when she can read this blog. If she wants to know what I am writing here in Japanese, that's a good motivation for her to learn Japanese.
Leoにとってはどちらでもいい。
For Leo, it does not matter.
日本語は読み書きが難しいから、英語でできればそれでいい。会話じゃなくてもそれでいい。いろんな機器を使って、コミュニケーションさえ取れればそれでいい。
Japanese is hard to learn, especially reading and writing, so English might be better for him. Verbal communication might tough for him, so I would be happy if he could communicate with a help of some assist device.
Leoは病気のせいで言葉がなかなか出ない。
でも、たまに言葉なんていらないって思ったりもする。
He cannot utter sounds clearly due to the disease.
But I feel sometimes that I don't need words to commucate with him.
ちょっとこんなこと言うのは恥ずかしいけど、彼とは心と心で会話している。
心と心の会話だから、彼が感じる喜びも直に伝わるってくる。
心と心の会話だから、彼が感じる悲しみも直に伝わってくる。
Because I am talking to him and he is talking to me heart to heart.
I can feel even more directly the joy he feels.
I can feel also even more directly the sadness he feels.
最近は、目の前がどこか映画のワンシーンに見えるときがよくある。
自分は後頭部の後ろのほうから自分自身とLeoを見ている感覚になる。
I recently feel as if I'm seeing a movie scene in front of me.
Almost as if I am viewing myself in the movie from somewhere far from the back of my head.
本当に不思議な感覚…
Weird feeling, in fact...
そう感じるときは、決まって時間が止まっているように感じる。
またはその逆で、時間が永遠に続くような感覚になる。
And every time I fall in that sense, it feels like time has stopped forever.
Or it feels like the opposite way with time continuing forever.
日々の一瞬一瞬が、本当に意味のある時間に感じる。
Each moment in daily life feels like a very meaningful time.
Leo、Sena。
ありがとう。
Leo, Sena.
Thank you...
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I know I am not that good at English but I am keeping this blog bilingual in Japanese and English as much as possible. I usually write a post in Japanese first, then translate it into English, so excuse me for the poor expressions in English.
まあ、すべてはLeoとSenaのため。
Well, it is all for Leo and Sena.
将来、Senaが英語で読むなら、自分の下手な英語を笑って欲しい。日本語で自分が一体何を書いてあるのかわかりたいなら、日本語を勉強してほしい。
I am hoping that Sena makes fun of my poor English when she can read this blog. If she wants to know what I am writing here in Japanese, that's a good motivation for her to learn Japanese.
Leoにとってはどちらでもいい。
For Leo, it does not matter.
日本語は読み書きが難しいから、英語でできればそれでいい。会話じゃなくてもそれでいい。いろんな機器を使って、コミュニケーションさえ取れればそれでいい。
Japanese is hard to learn, especially reading and writing, so English might be better for him. Verbal communication might tough for him, so I would be happy if he could communicate with a help of some assist device.
Leoは病気のせいで言葉がなかなか出ない。
でも、たまに言葉なんていらないって思ったりもする。
He cannot utter sounds clearly due to the disease.
But I feel sometimes that I don't need words to commucate with him.
ちょっとこんなこと言うのは恥ずかしいけど、彼とは心と心で会話している。
心と心の会話だから、彼が感じる喜びも直に伝わるってくる。
心と心の会話だから、彼が感じる悲しみも直に伝わってくる。
Because I am talking to him and he is talking to me heart to heart.
I can feel even more directly the joy he feels.
I can feel also even more directly the sadness he feels.
最近は、目の前がどこか映画のワンシーンに見えるときがよくある。
自分は後頭部の後ろのほうから自分自身とLeoを見ている感覚になる。
I recently feel as if I'm seeing a movie scene in front of me.
Almost as if I am viewing myself in the movie from somewhere far from the back of my head.
本当に不思議な感覚…
Weird feeling, in fact...
そう感じるときは、決まって時間が止まっているように感じる。
またはその逆で、時間が永遠に続くような感覚になる。
And every time I fall in that sense, it feels like time has stopped forever.
Or it feels like the opposite way with time continuing forever.
日々の一瞬一瞬が、本当に意味のある時間に感じる。
Each moment in daily life feels like a very meaningful time.
Leo、Sena。
ありがとう。
Leo, Sena.
Thank you...
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Category つぶやき (Tweets)
目の前を走り回る同じくらいの歳の子供達。キックボードに乗ってはしゃいでる子もいれば、サッカーボールを蹴って走ってる子もいる。ジャングルジムをよじ登る子も居れば、滑り台を何度も何度も滑る子もいる。
Kids at his age running around... Some kids having fun with scooters, others playing soccer. Some kids climbing the structure, others going on slides over and over...
公園は子供達の楽園。みんな楽しそうだ。
Park is a paradise for kids. Everyone looks happy.
最近のLeoはそんな子供達をずっと目で追っている。
But Leo just watches them run. Even longer than before lately...
たまに口をへの字にしながらジッと耐えている。
He looks as if he is trying to keep his emotion inside...
言葉が出ないから目で訴えかけてくる。その澄んだ瞳は、ときに潤んでいる…
He cannot talk but he talks to me with his face what he is feeling.
With his beautiful eyes in tears, sometimes...
そんなLeoを見てると、もう胸が潰されそうになる。
I often cannot hold myself but crush into tears...
同じように走り回りたいだろうに…
きゃっきゃいいながら、はしゃぎまわりたいだろうに…
I know you wanna run around like other kids...
I know you wanna do stuff like other kids...
数年前まで出来てたのにね…
本当に辛いよね…
You could do that just a few years ago, and you know about it...
So that's even tougher for you, I know...
神様…
God...
何でこんな試練をLeoにあたえたんですか？どうして彼がこんなつらい思いをしなきゃいけないんですか？
How come you've given such a hardship on him? Why should he go through this?
納得いかない？？？ばかりが頭の中をめぐりめぐる毎日…
I don't understand. The sequence of ??? is haunting me everyday...
神様…
God...
Leoは毎日ものすごく頑張ってます。
だから本当にいつか、その答えを教えてください。
Leo's working hard everyday and you know that, right?
So you should provide him with a good answer someday.
彼が納得できる答えを。
A real answer that he can accept.
奇跡を信じているんですから…
今でも…
We all believe in miracle, still.
So please, please answer that for him.
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Kids at his age running around... Some kids having fun with scooters, others playing soccer. Some kids climbing the structure, others going on slides over and over...
公園は子供達の楽園。みんな楽しそうだ。
Park is a paradise for kids. Everyone looks happy.
最近のLeoはそんな子供達をずっと目で追っている。
But Leo just watches them run. Even longer than before lately...
たまに口をへの字にしながらジッと耐えている。
He looks as if he is trying to keep his emotion inside...
言葉が出ないから目で訴えかけてくる。その澄んだ瞳は、ときに潤んでいる…
He cannot talk but he talks to me with his face what he is feeling.
With his beautiful eyes in tears, sometimes...
そんなLeoを見てると、もう胸が潰されそうになる。
I often cannot hold myself but crush into tears...
同じように走り回りたいだろうに…
きゃっきゃいいながら、はしゃぎまわりたいだろうに…
I know you wanna run around like other kids...
I know you wanna do stuff like other kids...
数年前まで出来てたのにね…
本当に辛いよね…
You could do that just a few years ago, and you know about it...
So that's even tougher for you, I know...
神様…
God...
何でこんな試練をLeoにあたえたんですか？どうして彼がこんなつらい思いをしなきゃいけないんですか？
How come you've given such a hardship on him? Why should he go through this?
納得いかない？？？ばかりが頭の中をめぐりめぐる毎日…
I don't understand. The sequence of ??? is haunting me everyday...
神様…
God...
Leoは毎日ものすごく頑張ってます。
だから本当にいつか、その答えを教えてください。
Leo's working hard everyday and you know that, right?
So you should provide him with a good answer someday.
彼が納得できる答えを。
A real answer that he can accept.
奇跡を信じているんですから…
今でも…
We all believe in miracle, still.
So please, please answer that for him.
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Category リハビリ (Rehab)
Leoはイスに座っているときに、よく左足だけピーンとつま先までまっすぐになる。片麻痺が特に左足ひどくて、いつも右足しかついてないから上体が不安定。だから食べてるときも支えが必要なほど。
When Leo is sitting on his chair, his left leg tends to get straight in the air with the toe stretched tensely. The left hemiplegia is especially bad on his left leg and he is supporting his body with only the right leg, so he is unstable and needs some support while eating food at the table.
そこで、それを防ぐため、つっかえ棒を足がつくところに付けてみた。後ろでSenaが座っているのが元々のもの。色も同系色だから、意外と普通にオプションのパーツに見えなくもないかな？結構満足。
So I came up with this idea of putting a stopper bar in the foot rest area, so that his left leg does not stay in the air. The chair in the back is without the bar. The chair in front is with the bar. Similar colors make it look like the official optional part you can put. Looks good, in fact.
実はこれ、壁のタオル掛け用の棒。もちろんサイズが合わないので、棒の部分を電動ノコギリでカット。Leoの足があたっても痛くないように接合部の土台の角もカット。ばっちりＯＫみたい。
You have probably seen this but this is a towel hunger on the wall and I cut the bar with the saw as well as the corner of the attachment bases so that Leo does not get hurt by them. It is working great!
熟練の大工さんが作る日本の家とは違って、アメリカの家は適当に作られてて隙間だらけ。よくいろんなところが壊れる。 だから週末はお父さんがガレージで日曜大工。典型的はアメリカの週末のパパ像の出来上がり。
Unlike the Japanese houses, which are usually built by master carpenters, houses in the US are not built well and often break. So that's why we have a typical image of a daddy who is fixing the house in the garage on weekends.
自分もこの一人。毎週のようにHOME DEPOT(日曜大工センター)に行っては、いろんな工具や材木を買ってきて修理、修理。おかげで電動ドリル、電動ノコギリ、ペンキ、その他、最近は何でもあって、いろんなことができるようになった。
I am one of them now and often go to Home Depot to get the tools and materials, and fixing everywhere in the house. Thanks to that, now I have almost everything that I need including the power tools, saws, paints, etc.
今一番作りたい、というより、デザインしたいのはLeoの歩行器具。
What I wanna build or design now is the walker for Leo.
障害児の症状はひとりひとり違ってて、そのニーズが一番分かっているのは親だと思う。今は３Ｄプリンターとかあるみたいだし、Leoに合ったいろんな補助具をつくってあげれればな～なんて漠然を思うことが多い。
Symptoms with physically challenged kids differ and I think it is parents who know the best what he or she really needs. Now 3D printers are available, so I am thinking about making the support equipment for him.
あと家の中の改造。Leoが自分で何でもできるように、今もすこしずつだけど改造中。
And in progress is transforming the house with full of support bars so that Leo can go everywhere by himself and do everything by himself independently.
Leoも1年前は歩けてたのを覚えてるから、本当にいろんな、時にはつらいリハビリにも頑張って取り組んでいる。あきらめずに、前に前に進もうとしている。
Leo remembers the fact that he could walk by himself a year ago and he is working very hard on a tough rehabilitation activities all the time. He is tying to move forward and he never gives up.
自分も落ち込んでる暇なんかない！
I should not be feeling down. I should not even have time for it.
前に前に進まないと。
I should move forward...
Leoと一緒に。
with Leo, forever...
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When Leo is sitting on his chair, his left leg tends to get straight in the air with the toe stretched tensely. The left hemiplegia is especially bad on his left leg and he is supporting his body with only the right leg, so he is unstable and needs some support while eating food at the table.
そこで、それを防ぐため、つっかえ棒を足がつくところに付けてみた。後ろでSenaが座っているのが元々のもの。色も同系色だから、意外と普通にオプションのパーツに見えなくもないかな？結構満足。
So I came up with this idea of putting a stopper bar in the foot rest area, so that his left leg does not stay in the air. The chair in the back is without the bar. The chair in front is with the bar. Similar colors make it look like the official optional part you can put. Looks good, in fact.
実はこれ、壁のタオル掛け用の棒。もちろんサイズが合わないので、棒の部分を電動ノコギリでカット。Leoの足があたっても痛くないように接合部の土台の角もカット。ばっちりＯＫみたい。
You have probably seen this but this is a towel hunger on the wall and I cut the bar with the saw as well as the corner of the attachment bases so that Leo does not get hurt by them. It is working great!
熟練の大工さんが作る日本の家とは違って、アメリカの家は適当に作られてて隙間だらけ。よくいろんなところが壊れる。 だから週末はお父さんがガレージで日曜大工。典型的はアメリカの週末のパパ像の出来上がり。
Unlike the Japanese houses, which are usually built by master carpenters, houses in the US are not built well and often break. So that's why we have a typical image of a daddy who is fixing the house in the garage on weekends.
自分もこの一人。毎週のようにHOME DEPOT(日曜大工センター)に行っては、いろんな工具や材木を買ってきて修理、修理。おかげで電動ドリル、電動ノコギリ、ペンキ、その他、最近は何でもあって、いろんなことができるようになった。
I am one of them now and often go to Home Depot to get the tools and materials, and fixing everywhere in the house. Thanks to that, now I have almost everything that I need including the power tools, saws, paints, etc.
今一番作りたい、というより、デザインしたいのはLeoの歩行器具。
What I wanna build or design now is the walker for Leo.
障害児の症状はひとりひとり違ってて、そのニーズが一番分かっているのは親だと思う。今は３Ｄプリンターとかあるみたいだし、Leoに合ったいろんな補助具をつくってあげれればな～なんて漠然を思うことが多い。
Symptoms with physically challenged kids differ and I think it is parents who know the best what he or she really needs. Now 3D printers are available, so I am thinking about making the support equipment for him.
あと家の中の改造。Leoが自分で何でもできるように、今もすこしずつだけど改造中。
And in progress is transforming the house with full of support bars so that Leo can go everywhere by himself and do everything by himself independently.
Leoも1年前は歩けてたのを覚えてるから、本当にいろんな、時にはつらいリハビリにも頑張って取り組んでいる。あきらめずに、前に前に進もうとしている。
Leo remembers the fact that he could walk by himself a year ago and he is working very hard on a tough rehabilitation activities all the time. He is tying to move forward and he never gives up.
自分も落ち込んでる暇なんかない！
I should not be feeling down. I should not even have time for it.
前に前に進まないと。
I should move forward...
Leoと一緒に。
with Leo, forever...
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Category つぶやき (Tweets)
昨夜寝かしつけているときのこと。通常はLeoは2，3冊で眠りに落ちるが、昨日は珍しく寝ないで、毛布で顔を隠してしくしく泣いていた。「おしっこ？うんち？」と聞いてトイレに連れて行っても号泣で違った。いろいろ聞いたけど、ずっと顔を隠したまま。
Last night when I trying to make kids sleep. Leo usually falls asleep after reading a few books, but it was not the case last night. He was crying quietly in the bed covering his face with the blanket. I took him to the bathroom after asking "pee pee?" or "poo poo?". It was not the case either. I asked many yes/no questions, but nothing did not get the right question for him to answer by pointing.
結局、理由は最後に読んだ子供用の雑誌の間違い探しのページに興奮したらしく、目が覚めて「もっとしたいのに、どうしてわかってくれないの～」って言ってたみたい。とにかくパズルや間違い探しなどが好きなのはいいが、結局そんなこんなで寝たのが11時くらい。2時間何が言いたいのかずっと聞かなければならないかった。
It turned out that he wanted to work more on "find which parts are different between two pictures" page, so we was trying to tell me "how come you don't understand what I wanna do!" He likes this stuff and puzzles and it is good, but he ended up sleeping at 11 PM. I had to ask many questions to figure out what he wants for two hours...
Leoも4歳半だから、最近は伝えられないことにフラストレーションがたまってる。
Leo is 4 and a half. He is frustrated that he cannot verbally convey what he wants to do.
ベットの上で毛布をかぶってシクシク泣いている姿に、ただただ、「ごめんね、ごめんね。こんな体に生んでしまって」って心の中で泣いていた。
While I was looking at him crying under the blanket, I could only say in my mind "sorry, so sorry, not giving you birth with a normal body..."
もちろん、そんなことを言ったら悪いのはわかっている。
I know I should not say that... I know..
でも、正直、この罪悪感はずっと消えそうにない…
But this sense of guilty never disappears for a while, honestly...
上を向いて歩いていこう…
I need to walk forward looking up the sky...
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Last night when I trying to make kids sleep. Leo usually falls asleep after reading a few books, but it was not the case last night. He was crying quietly in the bed covering his face with the blanket. I took him to the bathroom after asking "pee pee?" or "poo poo?". It was not the case either. I asked many yes/no questions, but nothing did not get the right question for him to answer by pointing.
結局、理由は最後に読んだ子供用の雑誌の間違い探しのページに興奮したらしく、目が覚めて「もっとしたいのに、どうしてわかってくれないの～」って言ってたみたい。とにかくパズルや間違い探しなどが好きなのはいいが、結局そんなこんなで寝たのが11時くらい。2時間何が言いたいのかずっと聞かなければならないかった。
It turned out that he wanted to work more on "find which parts are different between two pictures" page, so we was trying to tell me "how come you don't understand what I wanna do!" He likes this stuff and puzzles and it is good, but he ended up sleeping at 11 PM. I had to ask many questions to figure out what he wants for two hours...
Leoも4歳半だから、最近は伝えられないことにフラストレーションがたまってる。
Leo is 4 and a half. He is frustrated that he cannot verbally convey what he wants to do.
ベットの上で毛布をかぶってシクシク泣いている姿に、ただただ、「ごめんね、ごめんね。こんな体に生んでしまって」って心の中で泣いていた。
While I was looking at him crying under the blanket, I could only say in my mind "sorry, so sorry, not giving you birth with a normal body..."
もちろん、そんなことを言ったら悪いのはわかっている。
I know I should not say that... I know..
でも、正直、この罪悪感はずっと消えそうにない…
But this sense of guilty never disappears for a while, honestly...
上を向いて歩いていこう…
I need to walk forward looking up the sky...
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Category Encinitas Life
私ごとで恐縮なんですが、（うん？自分のブログだからいいだろって？）、今日4月1日は私たちの7回目の結婚記念日。エープリルフールですが嘘じゃないんです。でも、正直、こういう記念日に非常に疎い。だからママも全然忘れてると思ってるのを見越してのサプライズを演出。どーだーっと言わんばかりのバラと共に帰宅。恥ずかしそうにしてるあたりがうれしかったかな（＾＾
I feel shy to talk about this (hey! who's blog is this?), but today was our 7th wedding anniversary. I know it is the April Fool Day, but I am not joking. I personally tend to pay little attention on those anniversary stuff and my wife knows about it. So in order to surprise her, I came home with two dozens of roses. It worked! She looked hiding her emotion a bit, so it worked well, in fact :-)
前もって日本から来てるお母さんに子供の面倒をお願いして「二人っきりで外食」へ。実は子供ができてからこの「二人っきりで外食」は2回目。1回目は去年、日本に一時帰国したときに、これまたお母さんにお願いして。お母さん、ありがとうございます。
I asked her mother, who's visiting now from Japan, to take care of the kids while we were going out for dinner. It is just a two of us. In fact, this is the 2nd dinner without kids since Leo was born. The first one is also made possible with her mother's support when we visited Japan last year. Thanks Mom!
で、今宵のターゲットはリゾートホテルThe Grand Del MarにあるAmayaというイタリアン。入り口がわからないようになってるほど隠れ家的な高級ホテル。ゲートでは何のためにきたのがチェックされる。ただ雰囲気で選んだ感じかな？やっぱりスペシャル感を演出しないとね。
We went to the Italian restaurant at the resort hotel The Grand Del Mar. A high-class hotel whose entrance is hard to find and the guard checks the purpose of visit at the gate. The reason that I chose it? Just a good atmosphere that makes us feel "special" tonight.
ただ味はレビューどおり70点。値段を考えれば60点というところ。メインのステーキのソースがブルドックソースのウスター味で×。肉も焼きすぎ。こっちはいつもそうなんだけど、ミディアムレアって頼んでも結構ミディアムからウェルダン。レアで頼めばよかった…大後悔…。 プラス、コーンの粒々ガルニとかあり得ないだろ…。
And the food was... just ok, unfortunately, much like the other reviewers say, like 70 out of 100. Even considering the price, it should be 60. I asked medium rare on the main beef and it came with medium to well done. I knew they tend to overcook, so I should have asked rare... Well, there is no use crying over overcooked beef... I did not like the cones in the source either, which tasted a BBQ source you can buy at a grocery store.
結局、一番おいしかったのは前菜のホタテのダックソース。最初はどちらも強い香りがケンカしてて、正直マズイって思ったけど、ドライレモンピールがあとからそれをさわやかにしてくれる。食べ終わりのあたりには、あれ、うまいんじゃないか？っと最初の判断が覆るという摩訶不思議な味。今度家でためしてみようなかな？
What I liked the best is the scallop with duck source. At first, the strong flavor of scallop and duck were fighting each other and it tasted not good, honestly. But the dry lemon peel comes after and merges and lighten them. So at the end, it tasted good. A weird experience... I may try cooking the same thing at home to make sure...
そんなこんなでマッタリ2時間。このあとラグジュアリーシアターで映画でもと思ってたけど、二人とも日々の生活でお疲れで、結局そのまま帰宅。LeoもSenaもおとなしくしててくれたみたいで◎。
2 hours just past slowly and I was planning to take her to an luxury movie theater. But we were so tired from daily life, so just went home straight. Her mother told us the kids were good while we were away. Thanks kids and mom!
次は何年後？
When can we have another dinner with just two of us?
考えると恐ろしいです（＾＾
I am not gonna think about it now ...
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I feel shy to talk about this (hey! who's blog is this?), but today was our 7th wedding anniversary. I know it is the April Fool Day, but I am not joking. I personally tend to pay little attention on those anniversary stuff and my wife knows about it. So in order to surprise her, I came home with two dozens of roses. It worked! She looked hiding her emotion a bit, so it worked well, in fact :-)
前もって日本から来てるお母さんに子供の面倒をお願いして「二人っきりで外食」へ。実は子供ができてからこの「二人っきりで外食」は2回目。1回目は去年、日本に一時帰国したときに、これまたお母さんにお願いして。お母さん、ありがとうございます。
I asked her mother, who's visiting now from Japan, to take care of the kids while we were going out for dinner. It is just a two of us. In fact, this is the 2nd dinner without kids since Leo was born. The first one is also made possible with her mother's support when we visited Japan last year. Thanks Mom!
で、今宵のターゲットはリゾートホテルThe Grand Del MarにあるAmayaというイタリアン。入り口がわからないようになってるほど隠れ家的な高級ホテル。ゲートでは何のためにきたのがチェックされる。ただ雰囲気で選んだ感じかな？やっぱりスペシャル感を演出しないとね。
We went to the Italian restaurant at the resort hotel The Grand Del Mar. A high-class hotel whose entrance is hard to find and the guard checks the purpose of visit at the gate. The reason that I chose it? Just a good atmosphere that makes us feel "special" tonight.
ただ味はレビューどおり70点。値段を考えれば60点というところ。メインのステーキのソースがブルドックソースのウスター味で×。肉も焼きすぎ。こっちはいつもそうなんだけど、ミディアムレアって頼んでも結構ミディアムからウェルダン。レアで頼めばよかった…大後悔…。 プラス、コーンの粒々ガルニとかあり得ないだろ…。
And the food was... just ok, unfortunately, much like the other reviewers say, like 70 out of 100. Even considering the price, it should be 60. I asked medium rare on the main beef and it came with medium to well done. I knew they tend to overcook, so I should have asked rare... Well, there is no use crying over overcooked beef... I did not like the cones in the source either, which tasted a BBQ source you can buy at a grocery store.
結局、一番おいしかったのは前菜のホタテのダックソース。最初はどちらも強い香りがケンカしてて、正直マズイって思ったけど、ドライレモンピールがあとからそれをさわやかにしてくれる。食べ終わりのあたりには、あれ、うまいんじゃないか？っと最初の判断が覆るという摩訶不思議な味。今度家でためしてみようなかな？
What I liked the best is the scallop with duck source. At first, the strong flavor of scallop and duck were fighting each other and it tasted not good, honestly. But the dry lemon peel comes after and merges and lighten them. So at the end, it tasted good. A weird experience... I may try cooking the same thing at home to make sure...
そんなこんなでマッタリ2時間。このあとラグジュアリーシアターで映画でもと思ってたけど、二人とも日々の生活でお疲れで、結局そのまま帰宅。LeoもSenaもおとなしくしててくれたみたいで◎。
2 hours just past slowly and I was planning to take her to an luxury movie theater. But we were so tired from daily life, so just went home straight. Her mother told us the kids were good while we were away. Thanks kids and mom!
次は何年後？
When can we have another dinner with just two of us?
考えると恐ろしいです（＾＾
I am not gonna think about it now ...
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